In Memoriam: The passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II brings a subtle sadness to some, 8th September 2022
Getty Images 20.09.2022
“Let us not take ourselves too seriously.
None of us has a monopoly on wisdom and we must always be ready to listen and respect other points of view.” QEII 1991
An historic day in my country of birth. It came as a surprise to many in my Australian multicultural network that not only was I born in England but I have identified with it throughout my entire life. It has shared a special place with my Indian and Chinese heritage of my parents, my connection to their Singaporean and Malaysian roots and influenced my understanding of the flaws and pain caused by British colonialism.
I have always been inspired by my father who transformed his experiences of colonialism through his deep faith, something he shared with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth and I think that faith passed onto me. That faith is a tool many use daily to try to transform the racism they experience not only from white people, but from other ethnic groups, even LGBTIQ+ and other marginal communities. I live in the so called ‘Indo-Pacific’, and feelings run high. All the same, I am my own person. Rest In Peace Your Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Your death is deeply felt by silenced generations who chose the hard work of forgiveness over hate & future over past. Your public service and example have been heard.
My dad Ramanathan in Malaysia in the 1950s
Having lost my father in 2018 and performed Indian Hindu funeral rituals at the time I least felt like it, I especially sympathise with how hard it is to perform public rituals for others when you’re in shock and emotional pain. I wish King Charles III and his family the greatest strength on their grief journey.
“It was my father’s belief that he could despise colonialism and respect and love the Queen at the same time,… he taught me to translate her coded silences and nuanced symbolic messages in her work - over decades…”
Ironically, it is the Queen’s example that inspired my decades of community work in my ‘dayjob’. It was my father’s belief that he could despise colonialism and respect and love the Queen at the same time, as he taught me to translate her coded silences and nuanced symbolic messages in her work, over decades (i’m now 55), to sustain and grow the Commonwealth into something better than it’s past.
Over time, I learned to ‘listen’ to the silences coming from the Queen, her pauses, her choice of words, her choice of where and how she appeared. It grew into a full and silent vocabulary which still astounds me with its silent collaboration between speaker and listener.
My family in England 1967
There are many who believe that the Her Majesty knew from the start of her reign that her role was on the wrong side of history, that her faith was deeply felt and genuine, and that she opposed racism and did what she could in her unique position to encourage a transformation in line with her faith. There is a wonderful project in England called Historic England which I encourage you to visit which explains many of the barriers my parents faced in the 1960s).
My family in England 1967
Perhaps Asian cultures, so often accused of passive silence, best understand how to read the vocabulary of silence. That isn’t always obvious to the noisy, angry grammar used by celebrity activists whose outrage always takes precedence over just listening. In my work over two decades of community advocacy, I have learned to intuitively notices a people, place and community’s silence, empty spaces and pauses. So that’s how I experienced this week, but everyone will have -and indeed keeps voicing - their own experiences. I respect people and views that allow others to have their own while avoiding engaging in hierarchies of victimhood.
All trauma deserves healing and compassion. Similarly, all hate and prejudice from anyone deserves a good hard standing up to, regardless of where it comes from. It’s how you do it that keeps us either stuck in history or able to create new stories. To quote the Queen’s 1991 Christmas broadcast: “Let us not take ourselves too seriously. None of us has a monopoly on wisdom and we must always be ready to listen and respect other points of view.”
Queen Elizabeth’s death represents not only the final and true end of the 20th century for me, but a reminder of her and my father’s influence on my life, values and choices. It reminds me of earlier generations who had to work harder and at greater risk to compromise, adjust, and negotiate incremental change without much appreciation’. I don’t regret any part of who and what I am today as a result of the influence of many remarkable people who have taught me that to learn more about the world and myself.
